Vannulzed is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonourable ferret.

Vannulzed created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vannulzed, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vannulzed, it will not invite you to parties.

Vannulzed's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vannulzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always remove shirts before touching carbon.

4. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

5. Do not take Vannulzed's name in vain.