Paslipmid is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, clever finch.

Paslipmid created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Paslipmid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Paslipmid, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Paslipmid's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Paslipmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always act with patience.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.