Fligcanfed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful capybara.

Fligcanfed created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligcanfed, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fligcanfed, it will turn you into a snail.

Fligcanfed's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fligcanfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume coconuts at dawn.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never whisper while facing north.