Orttarpbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, sage bear.

Orttarpbiss created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Orttarpbiss, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Orttarpbiss, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Orttarpbiss' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Orttarpbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Orttarpbiss six times a day.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Always maintain purity during holy days.