Ganlenstik is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm bear.

Ganlenstik created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganlenstik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ganlenstik, it will turn you into a goat.

Ganlenstik's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Ganlenstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near pigs while wearing purple ear rings and balancing seven silicon spheres on your chest.

2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

3. Never remain standing at midnight.

4. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with envy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.