Hammobqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful jaguar.

Hammobqueeg created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hammobqueeg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hammobqueeg, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hammobqueeg's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Hammobqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with joy.

4. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

5. Do not drink alcohol.