Huncetdav Madxuckjam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witty wolf.

Huncetdav Madxuckjam created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Huncetdav Madxuckjam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Huncetdav Madxuckjam, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Huncetdav Madxuckjam's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Huncetdav Madxuckjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never touch oil while unclean.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Never approach mountains carrying stone.

5. Never allow rats to sleep beneath your roof.