Jopbassrakzod is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited snake.

Jopbassrakzod created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbassrakzod, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jopbassrakzod, he will cry a lot.

Jopbassrakzod's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jopbassrakzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.

3. Jopbassrakzod loves cats, so they must be respected.

4. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

5. Never gather six mites near walls.