Volspagzig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, proud fairy.

Volspagzig created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volspagzig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Volspagzig, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Volspagzig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Volspagzig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

3. Always remove rings before touching zinc.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Never leap in winter.