Flamnartrag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, impressive mongoose.

Flamnartrag created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flamnartrag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flamnartrag, she will turn you into a duck.

Flamnartrag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flamnartrag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Never handle iron while unclean.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never wear yellow corsets on sacred days.