Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing zebra.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn, she will turn you into a tree.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn.

2. Never allow goats to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never bounce near ducks.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mark doors with red.