Tammabcub is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, staggering elephant.

Tammabcub created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tammabcub, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tammabcub, it will turn you into a dog.

Tammabcub's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tammabcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons on holy days.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Always obey Tammabcub's priests.