Fottargbem Watgupgidhunlabvigcemhug is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever dog.

Fottargbem Watgupgidhunlabvigcemhug created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Fottargbem Watgupgidhunlabvigcemhug, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fottargbem Watgupgidhunlabvigcemhug, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fottargbem Watgupgidhunlabvigcemhug's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Fottargbem Watgupgidhunlabvigcemhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study archaea on holy days.

2. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

3. Run away from mauve eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.