Lignatflow is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, egotistical owl.

Lignatflow created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lignatflow, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lignatflow, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Lignatflow's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Lignatflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare bread during spring.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not place beans upon stone.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Never write about quantum field theory.