Zakcemzog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering horse.

Zakcemzog created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakcemzog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zakcemzog, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Zakcemzog's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zakcemzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing children.

2. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.