Omttigflig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid giraffe.

Omttigflig created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Omttigflig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Omttigflig, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Omttigflig's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Omttigflig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six titanium sculptures of Omttigflig on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed limes to birds while wearing indigo scarves.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not stand on grass.