Cutsigmum is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, duplicitous hummingbird.

Cutsigmum created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutsigmum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cutsigmum, it will ignore you.

Cutsigmum's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cutsigmum's Holy Commandments

1. Cutsigmum loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near squirrels while wearing magenta skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Never wear turquoise rings on sacred days.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.