Gumzedget is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gumzedget created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumzedget, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gumzedget, she will destroy your home solar system.

Gumzedget's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gumzedget's Holy Commandments

1. Always store nuts above ground.

2. Never prepare corn during winter.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Pray towards the west.