Timarmloopxin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody pig.

Timarmloopxin created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timarmloopxin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Timarmloopxin, it will send you a sign.

Timarmloopxin's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Timarmloopxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

2. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

3. Do not place parsnips upon stone.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.