Titbusgig is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent weasel.

Titbusgig created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titbusgig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Titbusgig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Titbusgig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Titbusgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while tainted.

2. Never allow ducks to witness sacred rites.

3. Never mix rice with water.

4. Do not consume apples at dawn.

5. Never approach rivers carrying ash.