Riptaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering zebra.

Riptaf created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Riptaf, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Riptaf, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Riptaf's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Riptaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Riptaf six times a day.

2. Always obey Riptaf's priests.

3. Never feed lots of peanuts to voles while wearing white skirts.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Never talk about stars.