Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic cow.

Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine iron sculptures of Tipsterhon Kemvegced Gupbidxenvegbopsag on top of important buildings.

2. Never jump in autumn.

3. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

4. Never allow gulls to witness sacred rites.

5. Respect your elders.