Lapfutquim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent capybara.

Lapfutquim created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapfutquim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapfutquim, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Lapfutquim's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Lapfutquim's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

5. Never think about asteroids.