Omtnarlwan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing duck.

Omtnarlwan created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtnarlwan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Omtnarlwan, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Omtnarlwan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Omtnarlwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.