Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured jellyfish.

Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig, she will destroy your home planet.

Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Shrews are not to be trusted.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kemtettibigflagpidnutzig.