Mapbogtal is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, strong fish.

Mapbogtal created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbogtal, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mapbogtal, it will destroy your home planet.

Mapbogtal's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Mapbogtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Worship no other gods but Mapbogtal.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.