Flabsastig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm otter.

Flabsastig created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabsastig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabsastig, she will turn you into a sheep.

Flabsastig's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Flabsastig's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow badgers to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

3. Always help aardvarks.

4. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

5. Never touch ash while clean.