Cumhomhen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, cheerful bird.

Cumhomhen created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Cumhomhen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cumhomhen, she will turn you into a rock.

Cumhomhen's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cumhomhen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Never travel toward the south during spring.

4. Always obey Cumhomhen's priests.

5. Always take life seriously.