Omthatwee is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, sage shark.

Omthatwee created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omthatwee, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Omthatwee, she will remove you from existence.

Omthatwee's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Omthatwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Never gather six eagles near walls.

5. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.