Gadcumgutnak is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, calm hedgehog.

Gadcumgutnak created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadcumgutnak, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gadcumgutnak, she will not care.

Gadcumgutnak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gadcumgutnak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Always wash your chest before prayer.