Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical guinea pig.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never record names.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.