Ditnarnell is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy zebra.

Ditnarnell created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditnarnell, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ditnarnell, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ditnarnell's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Ditnarnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Never wear white ear rings on sacred days.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.