Fetsanbodquag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, pitiless narwhal.

Fetsanbodquag created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fetsanbodquag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetsanbodquag, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fetsanbodquag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fetsanbodquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Do not prepare cucumbers while filled with anger.

5. Feed all hungry pigs.