Mitlarnhim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm narwhal.

Mitlarnhim created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitlarnhim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mitlarnhim, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Mitlarnhim's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mitlarnhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sheep.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Mitlarnhim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.