Gessflattaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest dove.

Gessflattaf created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessflattaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gessflattaf, she will turn you into a snail.

Gessflattaf's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gessflattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always treat shrews with great respect.

4. Never laugh in summer.

5. Never sing in the presence of elders.