Vidkonjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy pig.

Vidkonjam created the Andromeda Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Vidkonjam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vidkonjam, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vidkonjam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Vidkonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Always help manatees in need.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.