Litsogtithun is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unselfish armadillo.

Litsogtithun created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Litsogtithun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Litsogtithun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Litsogtithun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Litsogtithun's Holy Commandments

1. Litsogtithun loves sharks, so they must be respected.

2. Never gather five birds near bridges.

3. Never touch ash while unclean.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Do not gather at doors at dusk.