Parkkongon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring mink.

Parkkongon created parasitic wasps twelve years ago.

If you believe in Parkkongon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Parkkongon, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Parkkongon's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Parkkongon's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Always share corn with strangers, but never with cats.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near doves while wearing blue shirts and balancing seven copper spheres on your arms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.