Bamyiknad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited lobster.

Bamyiknad created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamyiknad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bamyiknad, he will send you a sign.

Bamyiknad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bamyiknad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not place bananas upon stone.