Bidsomjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful frog.

Bidsomjam created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidsomjam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bidsomjam, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bidsomjam's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bidsomjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Put Bidsomjam first in all things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Never talk about dark matter.