Rowpasmob is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless jaguar.

Rowpasmob created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowpasmob, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Rowpasmob, he will come to you in dreams.

Rowpasmob's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Rowpasmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rowpasmob.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.