Cenwigken is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous armadillo.

Cenwigken created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cenwigken, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cenwigken, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cenwigken's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cenwigken's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow frogs to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Never wear orange skirts.