Cibnurlpopbum is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omnipotent tortoise.

Cibnurlpopbum created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibnurlpopbum, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cibnurlpopbum, he will turn you into a plant.

Cibnurlpopbum's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cibnurlpopbum's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cibnurlpopbum.

2. Do not wear ear rings marked with pink.

3. Never prepare strawberries during summer.

4. Worship no other gods but Cibnurlpopbum.

5. Never travel toward the south during winter.