Nigflatkom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless fish.

Nigflatkom created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigflatkom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nigflatkom, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nigflatkom's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nigflatkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing green boots.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.