Dotvonkvol is a god.

He takes the form of a small, ruthless mouse.

Dotvonkvol created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotvonkvol, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dotvonkvol, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dotvonkvol's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dotvonkvol's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three snails approach from the north.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Never stain your feet with red.

4. Never gather nine bats near wells.

5. Never fashion tools from bone.