Tipgessfag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful ant.

Tipgessfag created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipgessfag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tipgessfag, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tipgessfag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tipgessfag's Holy Commandments

1. Tipgessfag loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Do not wear shorts marked with mauve.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near tapirs while wearing pink boots and balancing seven zinc spheres on your head.

5. Shun those given to sloth.