Zogabdib is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, stupid cobra.

Zogabdib created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogabdib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zogabdib, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zogabdib's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zogabdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

2. Zogabdib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always help otters in need.