Him is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome newt.

Him created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Him, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Him, she will turn you into a hamster.

Him's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Him's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never gather six turtles near bridges.

3. Never allow snails to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.