Busvolyat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid chinchilla.

Busvolyat created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Busvolyat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Busvolyat, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Busvolyat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Busvolyat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not consume melons at dawn.

5. Heed all signs.