Fadkimhak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous rat.

Fadkimhak created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadkimhak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fadkimhak, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fadkimhak's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fadkimhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

5. Do not prepare nuts while filled with joy.